Freewrite

I want to connect and so I search and search, but no connection can be found. I run ahead trying to catch up to my love, but I can never reach him. If only I would just sit and rest, I would be able to see that I am in my beloved’s presence. There is no reason to waste my energy trying to find him, because he has never left me. The more I struggle to see him, the harder it is for me to hear what he is speaking into my life. My heart is changing every day and I still search. I shout out for him to answer me, when my answer has already come. I want to see him in everything. I want to stop trying to do this on my own. Why do I struggle so much against just resting in you? It is so hard to accept that there is nothing that I can do FOR you. There is nothing that I can do to redeem the life of sin that I live. Nothing would ever be enough. You are able to love me because of your grace; it has nothing to do with me. How could God be so good? Everyone else expects so much and the creator of the universe expects nothing. Nothing except for my heart.

Isaiah 30

Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved.In quietness and confidence is your strength.But you would have none of it. So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion.For the Lord is a faithful God.Blessed are those who wait for his help.