Fear or Love?

^{1John 4:18}
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

When I allow fear to come into my relationships there is a disconnect that takes place. I become scared and I allow myself to build a huge wall between me and the other person. There are times when I don't even know that I was scared, until I realize that my heart has become disconnected from that person.

How can I tell that I am disconnected? I stop allowing myself to be honest. I no longer trust that person to hear my innermost thoughts... I no longer want that person to see who I am... they might hurt me. Typically the reason that wall is put up in the first place is because they have hurt me. They hurt me and I chose not to be honest about it... I put up a wall instead.

I frequently struggle with fear and love in my relationships. What will I choose... fear or love? I just went through this in my relationship with Michael. I had a wall up and it was keeping me from getting to experience genuine relationship with him. I was scared... and fear does not allow for love to exist. I had to choose to be honest with him even though it was scary and that created the opportunity for love to come back in.

Victory! Haha thank you God for the victory! I want to be open and vulnerable in my relationships. I want to choose love over fear. It feels amazing! The connection that is experienced is worth the fight... after all it's your heart that is being fought for. I am really blessed to have a man in my life that will fight for my heart with me. He's not okay with me putting a wall inbetween us and will help me in tearing that sucker down. I'm learning so many amazing things in my relationship with Michael and I am always so excited to get to share these experiences and implement them in my other relationships.

Love does not allow for fear to exist.
I choose LOVE.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Cory sent me a lovely email this morning... check it out!

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Homework

This is me... at Michael's ... doing homework...

Can you tell how much fun I'm having?

The reality is that I am completely blessed to have such an AMAZING boyfriend. He has been so supportive about me being back in school. I can't imagine what this would have been like without him in my life. I had a big deadline on Sunday night... and my man TOTALLY hooked me up. He let me chill at his newly decorated pad (it's so cozy in there now!) and took the kids back to my house. Where he continued to clean my kitchen and prepare a delicious dinner for me to eat when I was all done with homework. THEN he even proofread my assignment before I turned it in (which I just found out I got an A on the assignment!!!).

Ya... I know... he is a dream come true!

Venting

I become frustrated when I listen to people that have difficulty forming their own opinions. Instead they choose to regurgitate information they have read, without having any connection to it at all. I also HATE it when there is an expectation for the GOVERNMENT to fix everyone's problems.
The public cries out:

Fix this! Fix that! Control us! We're scared to live our lives!

The complete dependence that we form on government is disgusting sometimes. I don't need the government to run my life... I'm dependent on God not man. I'm sorry that some people fail to realize the co-dependent lifestyle that all of us have ingrained into us from as early as possible.

Bleck... haha so I vent and its possible that it may or may not make sense.

My backstory: I've been having discussions about the educational system in my English class and I can hear all of the sheep bleating together "Baaaaaaaa! Let the government fix it by creating more regulations!" I'm exhausted... the Government stole an hour of my sleep with a mandatory time change and I need to release some of this frustration before heading to bed.

Creation

I read the most AMAZING argument for creation tonight. I just HAD to share the beautiful simplicity of it all.

Some think that no intelligent design was needed for the creation of our planet; that the earth is nothing more than an accident. How is that possible when we can't even keep it in its former condition ON PURPOSE? ( the beautiful healthy planet that God provided for us... it is a gift... not an accident)

Stretching Out Dude...

I was hanging out in bed... on the computer... checking out some of my friends blogs... I turn around and had to take a pic with the webcam. LOL. This is my dog Charlie... the number one reason why I need to get a bigger bed. The dude likes to stretch out... whatever works... haha ya know?