What does it mean to truly be in love?
It means that even when that person isn't around... I choose better... because I love them. The love does not fade or disappear when they aren't around. It grows stronger. It changes me. It changes my relationships with others. In order to express my love... I have to choose better in EVERY area... not just the areas that directly impact my relationship.
It's a tough lesson to learn... but I just may be beginning to understand it.
Michael and I have started discussing marriage a bit more seriously. We've been taking a closer look at some pretty heavy issues in order to make sure that we have all of the cards on the table. One of the the more interesting things that has come up a discussion about the actual wedding ceremony. What if the wedding ceremony was more a mixture reflective of Jesus coming back for his bride? What if the bride didn't know when her actual wedding day was? What if she prepared for the wedding... and then one day the man of her dreams knocked on her door to sweep her away. All of her family and friends already knew that this day was here, and were able to come and celebrate with the happy couple.
Could you imagine? Michael is much better at explaining this than I am. But wow. With so many couples focused on the wedding day, the idea of the bride not even knowing when the wedding day is fascinates me! I'm not the type of woman that has the wedding of her dreams planned out... it just has never been me. I wouldn't need for my wedding to be a certain way in order to be happy. How wonderful would it be for the wedding itself to be a beautiful gift that is especially prepared for the bride? Ya... I know it is pretty far out there... but the idea of it is pretty amazing!!
Another thing that we had discussed, that was more on the frivolous side of marriage, was the wedding ring. I'm not a big fan of jewelery... it's not really my thing. I have one ring that I love to wear and that is pretty much it. My ring was given to me on my 21st birthday as a gift from my Dad and Grammy. It has a diamond from one of her diamond earrings, and two rubies that represent my kids. My Dad had the stones placed in a setting for me and I have had it on my finger ever since. When I get married I want for it to be with this ring that means so much to me. So, I talked with Michael about it... and if he were to propose to me... he would take my ring instead of giving me one. He would then have it made into something beautiful and new that he would present to me on our wedding day. I wouldn't have an engagement ring on my finger prior to the wedding, but I would have the promise that the man of my dreams would be giving me his heart. *sigh* haha... I know that it is anything but traditional, but these unique expressions of love absolutely melt my heart!!! So... if you don't see my ring on my finger you'll know what it means... lol!
So... those are a couple of the things that I am processing right now. Of course we are also talking about kids, family, finances, jobs, expectations, lifestyles, and all of those lovely things. I guess I just figured I would share the juicy stuff. Just to clarify... I am not engaged... just exploring the possibility right now.
What a beautiful night last night! Michael, the kids, and I went out to dinner at Fiesta Azteca, mostly because I had a long week and was ready for a margarita. I had seen their margarita sign earlier and knew that was the place for me! They have the most amazing club something or other that is only on their lunch menu, but if you order it they will totally serve it up. It's like a mix between a quesadilla and a club sandwhich... mexican food with bacon... wow. The food was delicious, but we were ready for something sweet. So... we went to a cute little yogurt shop by Raley's on Lake. Mmmm... I had delicious bannana split! It was SO good that I don't remember much else about the yougurt shop hah.
None of us were big on going to Cool April Nights... so we decided to go bumper bowling at Shasta Lanes instead. We started off by playing on teams.... boys vs. girls... Princesses vs. Bad Boyz (the kids picked the team names hehe) the boys won. =P So... not cool. Cameran is really getting the hang of bowling... we used to have to get the ramp for her on each turn... but she's able to do it all on her own! After the boys victory we decided to stay and play another game, Cameran was tired so she decided to sit it out. So... it was Mamma, Stryker, and Bowser knocking down the pins. I may have played the best game of my entire life! The first 5 rounds I got either a spare or a strike... I was on fire! Of course the competive boys were not too happy that I was cleaning house in the points department. Well... after round 5 they turned down the lights for rock and bowl... and my luck began to fade... I just couldn't seem to knock all of those pins down. =( It was still such a blast though! I bowl straight, and Michael does more of a curve ball, and so it was so cute to watch Christian switching from my style of bowling, to Michael's! Sidenote: I won hehe.
When we got home the weather was beautiful! I begged Michael to take go out and look at the stars with me. As soon as we dragged our blankets outside though, I realized that my sprinklers had just gone off hah. Oh well... change of plans... we moved our blankets on to the driveway. The stars were beautiful! The weather was warm, with a slight chill, and a gentle breeze that rustled the leaves of the trees. Eventually the kids filtered out and we all snuggled up under blankets looking at the stars. *sigh* in that moment God just gave me a great big wetter than wet smooch, right on the lips!!!! Being there... listening to the kids laugh and sing... being held in the arms of the man of my dreams... looking up on the night sky... I want so much more of that in my life! It was AMAZING! Thank you God so much for blessing me SO much last night. I really needed the encouragement. =)
God has done amazing things this weekend. I am so excited to see what he has in store for me next. More details later. I am totally going to go and soak in his presence.
I'm on Spring Break this week. Yay me. The rest of my life continues to swirl on. Yay life. In the past two weeks God has broken off two huge things off me. 1.Overcommitment. 2. Playing a role I cannot fill (Dad). Yay God!
