Morning Conversation

Our conversation in the car this morning...

Cameran: I know how cops are able to tell if you are speeding. Your red lights go on when you stop and if there are no red lights then you are going.

Christian: Some cops have mustaches.

Cameran: They do. I've never seen one though.

Christian: They really do. For reals... when I am a cop I will have a mustache.

Cameran: I know a cops name once. His name was Cop One.

Christian: His name was Cop One? Was he the first cop ever?

Cameran: Yep. He was the first cop ever. Then came Cop Two, Cop Three, Cop Four, and Cop Five. And the cops with the same numbers ride in the same car, but there can only be five of them. Mom what's five plus five?

Me: Ten

Cameran: There are only ten cops.

The On My Mind List

These are the following things that are currently swirling and twirling around my mind.

1. As of tomorrow I will have a 7 year old son. He is such a wonderful son... but for some reason he just keeps having birthdays, growing taller, and learning things. Boys... humph.
2. Building the skills to get married is more difficult than washing a full grown tom cat who is covered in bubblegum. I am really blessed to have Michael by my side through all of this though... he is amazing.
3. Redding is darn hot. Really darn hot. Really really darn hot. I love that it cools down in the evenings though... right now we have all the windows open and there is a cool breeze making its way around.
4. My cat and dog have formed a murderous league of dangerous animals. The cat is the assassin and then the dog disembodies the victim with his teeth. This wouldn't be such an issue, however the disembodiments are frequently occurring within my living room. The latest casualty... a lizard... was found in at least three sections.
5. My ex husband claims he will be coming to the mainland (from Hawaii) this winter. We haven't seen him in over 4 years... and I'm not overly excited about the reunion. The bright side is... I imagine his wardrobe mostly consists of boardshorts and flip flops... and I believe we are due for a winter wonderland when he arrives. Brrrrrrr... =P
6. Happiness should be independent of circumstance.
7. It's extremely difficult to step back and allow for people you love to make poor choices and suffer the consequences of that poor choice.
8. There is a bottle of wine in the fridge and ice cream in the freezer... which one to choose? which one to choose?
9. Lavender pillow spray from Bath and Body Works changed my life... when my head hits the pillow I just seem to melt into the covers.
10. God really loves me a lot. At this point in my life I have a beautiful daughter who loves to talk with me, an amazing and strong son who is learning how to be an honorable man, and I am marrying an honorable man who cooked me a delicious dinner tonight AND THEN massaged my shoulders as I did the dishes. =)

Conversations with Cameran

Cameran: "Do you know why prison is bad? Why people don't want to go there? I do."

Me: "Why?"

Cameran: "Because they feed you really yuck food."

Me: "What kind of food?"

Cameran: "They give you hamburgers without buns.... it's really gross. They only give you three things: hamburgers, ketchup, and mustard... no buns."

Best Interest

So... a lot of marriage stuff has been on my mind. Which should be a good thing... considering my wedding day is slowly (or rather quickly?) continuing to approach. This process definitely has its intense moments, but at the end of the day... I am still completely blessed and excited to be marrying Michael.

Okay... so the latest thoughts that I have been pondering were brought up not only by our marriage mentors, but by Michael's parents. In the past week they both brought up the book "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson (at least that is who comes up when I google "Love and Respect"). One of the things that really touched my heart about what was mentioned was that as a couple... it is crucial that you be able to go into a situation knowing that the other person has your best interest at heart. It really made me begin to examine some of my motives... do I go into various situations with Michael's best interests in mind? Maybe... sometimes... sure... but not nearly enough. I want to be able to answer that question with an "ABSOLUTELY I DO!!!". I'm sure that God and I can figure out a way to get me there.

Ultimate Joy and Happiness

<---- One of our engagement pictures from last Saturday.

I have been learning some fantastic things about joy the past couple of weeks. The past few weeks have been difficult. Moving... moving... unpacking... and the thermostat in Redding being turned up to "extra hot and toasty" have not really helped with the building frustration. Every morning for the past week I have begun my day by inviting God's presence and joy into my life. It has not been easy. From the moment that I wake up... I have had absolutely no motivation and an extremely lame attitude problem. I press in to God's love for me... and it really seems to help.

Today I was extremely blessed to be able to enjoy some of the fruit from my persistence. There is something very strong inside of me that is radiating with joy!! It seems to be unshakable and I have been able to meet the challenges with a quiet strength that I don't remember having before. I still made mistakes today... I still had "unfun" things to have to face, but in every moment I have had a wonderful awareness that there is no reason that those things should steal my joy.

One of the things that Michael and I are learning from our marriage mentors :required reading: is the effect of a positive and negative attitude on your relationships. If your joy is attached to your circumstance... then the majority of the time even if your circumstances are good... you'll continue to have a negative perspective. However, if your positive attitude is independent of circumstance... life is able to be wonderful no matter what circumstance may try to dictate. I want more of that!!!